TO MY HOMOSEXUAL SON

ON HOMOSEXUALITY

This is a very sensitive issue and we can all react to it differently. We can all keep quiet and pretend it does not exist, or we can face it and deal with it. It is a reality which affects each and every one of us directly or indrectly. It might affect you directly in that you have discovered that you are sexually attracted to people of the same gender. It might affect you in directly if your son, daughter, even spouse in some cases, or friend, or family member, work colleague, brother or sister in church has either told you that he/she is a homosexual or you have heard that he/she is homosexual. I will not use the word gay, because the word gay does not really mean homosexual. Originally, the word ‘gay’ means ‘carefree’ or ‘bright and showy’ or ‘full of joy, merry, light-hearted’ etc. For example, those who were around me when I got the news that my younger sister had given birth to a baby boy could have described me as gay. I dont use this word to describe homosexuals firstly because I am a person who like to keep to the original meaning of words. Secondly, because this term has been used over the years as an identification tag for homosexuals.

What will I do if my child opens up to me to tell me he is a homosexual? It may sound unbelievable, but the first thing I would do is to tell him that he is not a homosexual. Just wait! It may not be what you are thinking. Have you ever wondered what the BCOG on my blog page means? It means Beloved Child of God. This is who I am. Before I became anything else, I am the beloved child of God. If my child is the beloved child of God, it means God loves him, and so should I. Every other thing I will do or say towards him should come from my understanding of him as the child of God.

“My son”, I will say to him, “You are the beloved child of God” and you are my beloved child. You may not feel like every other person, but do not identify yourself by your sexual orientation. If heterosexuals do not go about saying ‘I am heterosexual’, then do not go about saying ‘I am homosexual’. All I know is that you are my son and I am not in a position to change how you feel or judge it. If certain people have a negative attitude towards you, remember that you do not need to be a homosexual to experience that. I also know people who dont like me, who have negative attitude towards me. Yet, I am not a homosexual. It is not my duty to try to make them love me. It is my duty to love them in spite of them not loving me. Even if you are heterosexual, there will still be people who dont like you for other reasons, some best known to them. You are the beloved child of God. Therefore, God loves you. You are my son, and I love you. Just as there are many people who dont like you, so also will there be people who like you. Do I like you? Yes. Do I like the fact that you are homosexual? No. Do I think you are a bad person? Never.”

There is a difference between liking you, and liking your sexual orientation. Nobody gives birth to a child and prays ‘Lord, please may he be a homosexual’. This is where it becomes easy for homosexuals to be discriminated against. My son, you can be a homosexual without using it as a name tag or walking about with a flag which says you are homosexual and people must accept you. As far as the issue of marriage is concerned, that will be an issue for another day. But for now, I can only say to you my son, that those who love you will love you. Focus on those who love you and pray for those who dont love you. I also do the same.

 

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